And just like that, my mom was wrong. One day I was hanging out with my mom, and she randomly blurted out, “You can’t get a man because you’re too much of a man,” followed by “You’re too independent, too tough.” My parents are famous for not sugarcoating their words. I responded with, “If a man would stand up and be a real man, I might consider dating, but for now, I’m good.” She’s not entirely wrong. All of the women in our family are go-getters, and this apple didn’t fall far from the tree. And just like that, the conversation was over.
You see, the truth is that I had become accustomed to island life. I enjoyed living on the one-woman island I’ve created for myself for the past couple of years. Island life is a whole vibe, it’s peaceful, and the music is always good. I could live happily ever after on this one-woman island. Just a girl and her dog forever, and I was ready to do so. I loved the single life and the freedom that came along with it. They say no man is an island, so I set my heart on proving them wrong by becoming an uncatchable fish.
When you’re living on an island, you have to be resourceful. I made a list of goals I plan to accomplish and set my eyes on the big picture. I’ve learned to make do with what He gives me and make the best of all situations I’ve been presented with. I started working on myself and honing in on the talents my Father gifted me with, one of them being a literary voice. If that literary voice was the voice of a forever single girl, I wanted to make it the best single female voice ever (I like to do the most ALWAYS).
Change of Plans
If you read Your Plans, you know my mistake in living the “island life” was my mindset. Thinking that it’s all about me and my will and timing instead of His. I’m flawed, and I’ll be the first to admit that I have pride issues and need to be humbled often. I was presented with the biggest slice of humble pie when God sent me an incredible man that I couldn’t shake. No red flags and not a single ounce of B.S. either (I still feel like I’m being punked, lol). So when it came time to change my relationship status online, I freaked out for a second.
And just like that, I realized that it is impossible to lose the experiences, and mistakes are inevitable. The size of our mistakes has just as much to do with our minds as they do with our hearts. As I walk into this new chapter, I’m leaving the mistakes behind and bringing the lessons with me. Then it dawned on me I was not losing anything by being in a relationship. My big picture didn’t change. The photo was just folded in half; there is more to it.
Follow me, and I will show you how to fish for people. ~Matthew 4:19
And just like that, I started a new chapter. I gave Him the ashes of my old life, and He reimbursed me with a new one. This girl right here has made every mistake a single gal could make, and I’ve learned all the lessons that came along with them. I was worried that I would lose the literary voice I’ve developed over the last few months. As ridiculous as my previous sentence may have sounded, it made perfect sense to me mentally. I was speaking from a single woman’s perspective who’s never been married and never had any children to the perspective of that same person plus three. You see, sis, the glow-up is internal, and sometimes so is the battle.
I was worried that any credibility in speaking for other women that I may have developed with my readers would be lost. I was concerned about my “street cred” 🤦🏻♀️. In my previous seasons of singleness, I learned about my thought patterns and the importance of being aware of them. Most importantly, I learned to surrender to His will.
The Big Catch
As we left church Sunday morning, I smiled while snapping this pic. It brought to mind another conversation I had with my mom. She asked me what type of man I asked God for. I told her that I never asked Him to send me one. The only thing I asked Him to do was to fix me. You have to learn to love yourself first. I never prayed for a companion; I asked Him to make me a good companion. It’s His perfect timing, not ours. I was happy being single because I was happy with myself. Once I mastered that happiness, He stepped in and blessed me with not one, not two, but three extraordinary men. Today my heart is whole, and I am so thankful for His will and His perfect timing.
And just like that, the uncatchable fish was caught.