I have found friendships, love, and even valuable life lessons in some of the most unlikely of places and with some of the most unlikely of people. Since it’s Women’s History Month, let’s focus on some of my gal pals. It’s no secret that most of my friends are males. I have plenty of female acquaintances, but I only have a handful of female friends, and that’s by choice. It’s a decision I thought was subconsciously made years ago to protect myself. Not realizing that He guides our footsteps. I was ignorant to the fact that He puts people in our lives for reasons or seasons.
What they say is true: you don’t appreciate the value of a moment until it’s gone. The same holds true for some of the people in our lives (see my past blog on “choosing your team wisely“). I’m so glad you came back to see me. Grab a seat, let’s talk gentleman’s clubs and rehab, babe. I have a lot to say, and I’m sure you’re pressed for time so let’s go ahead and plan on this being a two-part series (possibly three). The first is a short history lesson…
I didn’t have too many female roommates, but the ones I did have were some real spitfire women. They were just as wild and carefree as me. They were the women I needed in my life at the exact time I needed them there.
My relationship with women was a bit off because of hateful things that were said about my body. This can really mentally mess up a high school girl, trust me it had an affect on my self-esteem. Unknowingly being a scapegoat for some of my “ride or dies” also left a bad taste in my mouth for female friendships.
I used to love going clubbing and dancing, which stopped after being ridiculed (unless I was in a blackout drunk), criticized, and repeatedly made fun of by a friend. At least she made it a point to do it in front of my face and only when other people were around. To this day, I’m still self-conscious, and you will not catch me on any dance floors. Let this be a lesson. Our words have the power to either give life or death.
Now that I’ve given you that back history on why I’m so selective with whom I let into my inner circle let me tell you the difference between then and now: I am enough old to know better when to cut off a so-called friend, like the ones from my past who seized any opportunity to make me look bad in front of others.
Because I’m not perfect and because I, too, am guilty of hurting others with my words, I have since forgiven the offenses of my past friends and asked God to forgive them, too.
I hate to leave you hanging, but you’re going to have to stop by next week when I post a continuation to this blog post. We’ll talk about rehab and how my search for freedom left me bound, cuffed, and chained to my addictions…